Recovery...

When I was reading the books, I felt that I was engulfed in Veronica Roth's world. I was having difficulties prying myself off the world of factions and its ensuing chaos. I had to re-adjust to real life, to sunshine, to driving on real roads with real people around and taking an interest in the mundane activities of our life routines. Now the world is coming back into view, more clearly defined and I slowly take my place back into it. I resume my normal activities: going shopping, driving, cooking, talking to real people no longer feels strange.

While life is slowly coming back to normal, I am not done mourning and I still think a lot, too much, about the story. I feel the need to take it apart, to understand why it broke me, why it slapped me in the face the way it did, why I cared so much, too much. All the songs I hear on Pandora remind me of the story. I envision which part of the story they would match. 

I am currently reading the material about Four. It precedes the story and establishes Tobias/Four. I think he is the most complicated character in the novel. Reading those bits and pieces of his life before Tris are very interesting, revealing and really makes the ending of the book even more painful. Talk about an unfair life full of let downs and sacrifices. It really feels like all he reaps is pain, and more pain. How much more broken can he be? 

I really like Christina's character ...and finds that she is the one who has it the easiest in the end. Yes, she has her share of loss but overall she survives, keeps her spirits and gets back on her feet fairly fast becoming Tobias' rock. I like her because she might be Dauntless but she's also Candor and I can totally relate! I would be Candor and Dauntless too if I had to take a test! She starts out pretty strong and she ends the same, almost unscathed. 

I am not sure when this story will get out of my head, if ever...especially with the movie  Insurgent coming out in March next year. The trailer comes out tomorrow. I don't know that I will have the guts to see the movie either...It would be, by then, like reopening wounds. 

I had a nightmare last night...I am pretty sure caused by the book. I was thinking about the notion of fear landscape before going to bed. As I was falling asleep, weird images formed in my mind...what fully stirred me awake was the sight of three bodies descending from above, dangling, hanged! For some strange reason, Johnny Cash was one of the bodies...I don't even like or care about Johnny Cash (besides the 'You are my sunshine' song).